dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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