Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Randomize
