Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
