You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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