Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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