so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Randomize
