im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
