No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
