The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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