hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
