Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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