thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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