I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
