girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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