Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Randomize
