did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
