Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
me + whiskey = a bad person
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
