Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
You may now shotgun with the bride
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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