Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
