also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
After tacos, we're chasing women.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
