what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
