Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
