She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
