then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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