i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
