Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
i would one night stand the shit outta him
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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