i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
