found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
