so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
