He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
they're like a gay fantastic four
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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