some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Randomize
