Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
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