He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
