Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Randomize
