In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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