Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
