I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
