another moral hangover. fuck.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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