i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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