There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
