I accidentally burped into my bong.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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