I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
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