Four minutes until I can fart!
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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