So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
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