He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
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