is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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