Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
You're like the curious george of whores
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
