I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
