My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
