I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
