she woke up with a sticky ear
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
